‘I’m against monarchy but Prince William’s not too bad’ – Oh yes he is…

Wherever the Royals go schoolchildren are assembled to celebrate their presence, as if someone worthy of emulation were meeting them. The media bill and coo about these overgrown parasites and far too many ordinary Brits line up, led by the nose, to kiss the rod. The level of delirium in this country surrounding this family, a cult of personality perhaps unparalleled in history, is so intense that a nurse, Jacintha Saldanha, committed suicide because she mistakenly believed a prankster calling about Prince William’s wife. This was considered an improper violation of privacy to a family that likes to have its cake and eat it: they exploit publicity to promote an image of a model family, then play the victim. The irony and hypocrisy is difficult to overstate. But when talking about the Royal family it’s a non-stop series of cases competing for new heights of hypocrisy.

Caveat: William isn’t actually flipping the bird here, it’s just a funny angle

William, being closer to the throne and so kept under tighter control, has escaped the kind of headlines his brother Harry has provoked. But none of the apples have fallen far from the tree in this family, William is just a little more restrained and chooses his words more carefully. While his brother dressed as a Nazi, William attended the same party dressed in a lion and leopard outfit. Innocuous, you would have thought, until you learn that the party had a ‘native and colonial’ theme. Being a member of a family at the apex of an imperialist project to grab as much land as possible around the globe, and enslave, displace or erase the populations living upon it, attending a ‘native and colonial’ theme party is the height of distaste (to put it mildly). Harry chose the uniform most of his elders loved: his grandparents and great-grandparents all viewed Hitler and Nazism positively.

On another occasion William and his friends, with crustacean arrogance, dressed up as ‘chavs’, with William brandishing a baseball bat. How hilarious! The Royals don’t do self-awareness – portraying those stupid poors as mindless thugs… while covering virtually every stitch of clothing with military medals and continuously surrounding themselves with armed bodyguards. Who is the greater purveyor of oppressive violence – working class kids in tracksuits or a family who participate in the devastation of entire countries?

There is no justification for retaining this medieval institution, which is the antithesis of democracy. To compound the scorn for democracy which is the foundation of monarchy, William, like his father, writes to government ministers ‘to point them towards people I think they should see’ and complains about being ‘frustrated by the constraints his position places on him. Well he would, wouldn’t he. Some of William’s most notable beliefs seem to be in line with a philosophy of eugenics (supposedly discredited by the Nazis, but pioneered by the British before WWII).

Speaking at a conservation charity, Tusk Trust, he complained that ‘Africa’s rapidly growing human population is predicted to more than double by 2050 – a staggering increase of 3.5 million people per month … There is no question that this increase puts wildlife and habitat under enormous pressure’ and ominously warned that they needed ‘to take measures now’. Let’s be clear, William is concerned about the overwhelmingly black and brown population of a continent reproducing itself, while noticeably omitting mention of places where white people are dominant, and omitting the role of imperialist capitalism which is based on white supremacy.

‘Urbanisation, infrastructure development, cultivation – all good things in themselves, but they will have a terrible impact’. Coming from the mouth of the heir to Emperors and Empresses of the British Empire, under whose rule colonies suffered devastation and underdevelopment, this is a highly sinister and callous thing to say.

Coming from a family of Nazi-sympathisers, it’s no surprise William thinks there should be fewer Africans and blames them for damage to the environment caused by a capitalist class which he is part of, and which victimises the same ordinary Africans he is accusing. The levels of hypocrisy are astounding, and further compounded with the Prince taking part in hunting on a regular basis and defending trophy hunting.

William isn’t even particularly committed, out of a family of layabouts he takes the crown (so to speak). Graham Smith, director of Republic, ‘when William left the RAF, we worked out that he does about 47 days of engagements a year, so he’s not a hard-working person’. He pointed out that 4,700 engagements between all the Royals equates to less than an hour a day each. These are people that don’t lift a single finger for themselves, the concept of ‘work’ is utterly alien. The concepts of ‘playboy lifestyle’, ‘jetsetting’ and ‘the lush life’ are, on the other hand, deeply ingrained. His wife Kate has even been slammed by her own MP for ‘disgusting’ shopping habits.

William’s sister-in-law showed her in-depth understanding of poverty traps with her own version of ‘let them eat cake’, advising low-income parents to feed kids avocados for breakfast, or bircher muesli with fresh berries as a ‘quick, healthy’ alternative. These people simply don’t live in a reality any of us can relate to. She described her most memorable breakfast as ‘up a mountain in the Trois Vallees ski region of France, with beautiful views, snow all around and crisp, fresh air to heighten the senses’. Talk about rubbing it in. Any more tales of luxury and privilege while you tell poor people to just have more money, Pippa? Her previous party-planning book gave similarly life-changing advice, such as telling us the best way to determine who won a sack race is to look out for ‘the first person to cross the finish line’ – a book she got a £400,000 advance for. Further evidence that the children of the rich continue potty training well into adulthood – forever rewarded simply for producing turds.

The Royals are considered by many in the ruling class (and certainly by themselves) as representing the crème de la crème, the most noble of the nobility, the haut mond, the highest born and most well-bred, God’s chosen ones and God’s gift to the world, the very top of the upper crust. And this sense of superiority derives from their belief in bloodlines and genes. Royal blood is considered purer than the rest in a strict hierarchy, Royal DNA is considered the ‘best quality’. And since their sense of self-esteem is not based on anything any of them has actually done, no deed, no achievement, no challenge overcome – simply being born from the meeting of a specific sperm and a specific egg, they see no problem with inheriting such disgusting excesses of wealth and power. They feel entitled and see no need to justify it or earn it. They’re them, that’s their Divine Right. And the rest of us can lump it.

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Post Author: Pitchfork Cosmonaut

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